Why super heroes became SEO HERO ?
The superheroes are in a bad mood
We’re gonna tell you the true story explaining why superheroes became Seo Hero. We admit it may look eccentric, but this isn’t less authentic and Marvel is on its way to purchase the scenario!
Now superheroes are history.
Superheroes appeared on earth in the early thirties in American comic strips and comic books. At this time, they were full of hope, ready to change world bringing Justice and Peace.
This is how Superman, in the first release of Action comics by 1938, headed cape wind and fist raised towards the conquest of the popular masses lacking bearings.
All superheroes possess at least two of the following four attributes:
- Super powers killing it!
- A kit (arsenal or any other) allowing a superhero to rumble even without super powers.
- A schizophrenia at an advanced stage, or double identity: One of a normal guy, the other of a superhero
- Some disco-funky-like clothing, but ultra molding models only!
Here’s a bunch of the most famous superheroes:
- Superman born in 1938
- The Flash born in 1940
- Captain America born in 1941
- Wonder Woman born in 1941
- The Fantastic Four born in 1961
- Hulk born in 1962
- Thor in 1962
- The Silver Surfer in 1966
Facing the decline of their customer base, superheroes commissioned a scan to the Boston Consulting Group funded in Kryptonite and started to develop strategies from benchmarking resources:
Spying: superheroes created their own NSA to better analyze and spy on the world: The SHIELD (Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement Logistics Division).
Professional training: from time to time, superheroes follow new classes in the professor Charles Xavier’s academy with the purpose of taking stock of their genetic mutations.
Cartel: the last baby of the X-men with Wolverine, the X-force and the UNO.
Opposed to the conservative superheroes, we find the progressive villains:
- The Joker
- The Penguin
- Magneto and his Brotherhood of Mutants.
The superheroes missed the society evolutions:
- Didn’t participate in Woodstock and the Peace & Love Hippie movement.
- Had no clear position during the Cold War.
- Lacked an opinion about the Global Warming.
- Didn’t even try to adapt to fashion.
- Were even less opinionated about the Russian influence on the Donald Trump election.
Population they are supposed to protect, walked away from them and rather looked for reality shows and popcorn Youtube heroes.
What are the global economic crisis effects on superheroes?
Superheroes had to cut back their lifestyles:
- Superman reduced his top speed due to a lack of cheap fuel.
- Iron Man removed rust proofing treatment from his armor.
- Batman increased the waiting period between his Batmobile checkups.
- Hulk bought multi-purpose deformable pants.
To face dues and taxes, superheroes had to diversify and innovate:
- X-men launched a crowfunding campaign.
- Fantastic Four purchased poker lottery tickets.
- Professeur Xavier’s academy had been listed on Airbnb.
- Batman initiated activity on Uber.
- Superman started to home deliver, so in full competition with Amazon’s drones.
- Spiderman replied to a call for bids from Donald Trump to build a spider web wall between the US and Mexico.
But despite of all of these efforts, superheroes weren’t always able to bail out.
The brilliant idea of Professor X
By welcoming in his Airbnb a bunch of brilliant and penniless mutant apprentices like Larry Page, Sergueï Brin, Sundar Pichai, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Avishai Abrahami, Jeff Bezos, Travis Kalanick, Professor Charles Xavier got a great idea.
How could these little mutant apprentices run successful life outcomes while staying in his cheap Airbnb? The answer was obvious: thanks to the digital and web.
From this point, Xavier saw that his heroes’ genetic evolution would run through the digital era. Digital experts advised him to realize the best genetic mutation. Larry Page, Sergueï Brin and Avishai Abrahami insisted that superheroes should take the SEO job.
They told Xavier, “problem is we need a maximum of instability on the first Google page for clients to buy our advertising campaign PutwordsAndGivemoney widely. The idea would be to create instability thanks to their super powers, while thinking about doing well, because superheroes will always think to do good for others”.
“No problem” answered Xavier, “we can do it through the implementation of a genetic mutation, make them believe common people are now expecting superheroes to be losers acting like jackasses as any basic youtuber.” And followed, “Better, I can transform them genetically to make their faces easily able to create lolcats and generate memes”.
“This isn’t necessary to get this far, if they already create a lot of instability on this first Google page, that’d be great. We’ll make money out of it” the digital geniuses reacted. “And please let’s avoid the conspiracy theory opportunity”.
And here born is the Seo Hero project within Professor X’s spirit.
“But let’s not forget” added Professor, “our superheroes becoming SEO heroes will have to fist fight supervillains. When supervillains understand the plot, superheroes doing digital, SEO, and creating instability on the first Google page, they will do their best to bug them and in turn create stability” said Professor.
“World upside down” said digital geniuses, “but we must do differently to get success on web”.